A Rare Breed of Male Los Angeleno...
One who doesn’t have an IMDb profile. I’ve heard of them, but never actually been face-to-face with one. Do those actually exist?
September 2009
Dear Los Angeles,
I absolutely love this weather. 69 degrees, sunny, and no humidity. You and I are going to be great friends, wildfires and all.
Love,
Breaking Out My Cardigans In September— A First
After seeing how up in arms people have become over Kanye West, I have come to one conclusion:
The majority of people lead very, very mundane lives.
You don’t know him, you don’t have to deal with him on holidays, and you can easily ignore his entire existence.
So do it. The end.
“I’d much rather be happy than right, anyday.”
—The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (via filmquotes)
It's Really Hard to Do Yoga...
… When you and your room mate keep quoting lines from the Creepy Yoga Instructor video throughout the class.
“Nice pose, Rasta!”
“Breathe, little yogis.”
“Nice anvil!”
It’s also really hard when your yoga instructor sounds more like a lady P.E. coach who grunts a lot.
What's better than going to a screening of Pee-wee's Big Adventure in a cemetery?
Having Paul “Pee-wee Herman” Reubens himself show up to give a bizarre pre-movie speech.
Read: culmination of my hopes and dreams up until this point.
“Some of you look like you didn’t go home last night. Are you cheating on me? Are you cheating on Dick?!”
—Richard Simmons
Only Richard Simmons would quote Shakespeare and somehow tie it in to an aerobics class. And then hit on a man with lots of tattoos.
He also began the class by having everyone run in, throw their shit down, and begin dancing. Then he stopped everything, apologized, and turned his disco ball on. After all, what’s a Richard Simmons class without a little a shit-ton of sparkle?
And… he kissed my hand. And cheek.
Play
I'm So Mature...
On my walk home this afternoon, I passed by a nerdy high school girl with waist-length braided hair and glasses balancing books on her head as she presumably walked home from her bus stop.
It took everything inside of me to keep my hands to my side and not knock the books off and run away.
“Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”
—Veronica A. Shoffstall
Play
Yummy Open-Faced Breakfast Sandwich
I made a really good breakfast sandwich this morning and figured I’d share.
- 1 large egg, scrambled (or use 2 egg whites to shave off 40 calories)
- 1/4 c 2% milk shredded cheddar cheese
- 1/4 c broccoli slaw
- 1 slice turkey bacon (uncured is best, but regular works fine)
- 1 slice Weight Watchers bread, toasted
Spray skillet lightly with fat-free cooking spray. Cook turkey bacon on both sides, until desired doneness (I leave mine a little soft, easier to tear later). Remove bacon, let cool, and shred into 1/2 inch pieces.
Pour in scrambled egg, cheese, turkey bacon, and broccoli slaw. Cook until done. Serve open-faced on toast.
265 calories
Note: Cheese is 80 calories. To cut more calories, take out cheese and put a slice of provolone-flavored Veggie Cheese (35 calories) on bottom of sandwich instead.
“If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.”
—Author Unknown
