Me:Crap, I forgot I have to find something for my brother's birthday.
Co-worker:Isn't your brother really hot?
Me:You understand why I won't answer that, right?
To that one person who always freaks out over things that are completely under control
When you’re caught in the background of a shot and decide to just go with it.
Because apparently putting up “Filming, Don’t Fucking Come in Here” signs outside isn’t a thing that happens.
We'll be in touch.
Girl in interview:So I went to the University of Miami...
Me:Nice! I went to Florida State.
Girl:Well, pretty sure we beat you guys this year in football HAHAHA!!
Me:No, you didn't. Because we beat everyone. That's what a National Championship means.
Girl:Oh HAHAHAHA I think I was thinking of a different season.
Me:Yes. You were.
Someone in my office just reminded me about the time at a work happy hour that I’d told everyone my savings account in college never went below $800, because someone once told me that’s how much abortions cost.
Which, depending on your feelings about the issue, either makes me really responsible or kind of awful.
But regardless of your opinions, I think we can all objectively agree that I need to not drink around my co-workers ever.