The emojis on the new Google Hangout are the greatest things to happen to my workday.
Ever.
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Me:Let's go to the mall!
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Mike:Ugh... I really don't want to.
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Me:Fine. I'll go alone. I'll bring my iPod to drown out the deafening silence... in my heart.
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Mike:ALL RIGHT WE'LL GO JESUS CHRIST.
Running out of coffee creamer means making a cafe con leche instead. Which isn’t a real problem at all.
My dad burnt and mailed me a Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young CD.
He’s a pretty generous guy when it comes to the things he buys his kids or the money he sends our way, but my favorite presents from him are always the ones that are free (or cost a few stamps).
I don’t think I’ll share that with him, though. My patio set is pretty fucking great.
Someone’s going to tell me where this mythical $2.00 gallon of gas is, so I can drive my $70,000 American compact car to it while eating my $12.00 pound of bacon.
Ryan Gosling won’t eat his cereal (x)
I wish that was my penis.
The Internet is a wondrous, magical place.
Happy Fucking Thursday from the giant brown dildo sitting behind me.
